Perception vs Reality

One thing I'm learning as I prepare for this journey is that my perception of what I'm doing with what I eat is not accurate. Take this morning for example. I had two pieces of french toast and a piece of sausage. I walked away thinking that's not bad really. It's not like I ate a bunch of french toast. Then a quick stop at an old fashioned ice cream parlor happened. I didn't order anything giant so I didn't feel that bad about it. But then I put the food into my fitness app on my phone...1223 calories...before 2pm. Oh wow.

Now I've done W.W. and I learned allot about my nutrition. What happened to all that knowledge. There was a time in my life where I had devoted myself to that program and exercise. It was the year before my life unraveled. I lost 65lbs, and you know what? I was always hungry. I never felt full or satisfied. I felt controlled not in control. 

But as I move ahead in this process I am trying to re-educate myself about nutrition. Because I'm self pay I don't have all those classes and experts and hoops to jump through before surgery. There is a WLS support group in my area and I'm looking for a therapist to take me on. I'll be the first to admit that some of my eating issues are emotional ones and I'll need to find healthier ways to cope with them. My life right now is an interesting one to me. I'm trying to cope with an abundance of change in my life. In a few months if I can't get some place to interview me and give me a job I'll have to move back home with my dad, who's retiring, and dating (my mother passed 4 years ago). The whole thing is frustrating and emotional. So with a little luck I'll find someone to treat me and help me find my way of getting through this life without using food